Conditioning and the Stories We Carry
A recent conversation with a friend challenged me to rethink something I thought I had already settled in my mind: the relationship between scarcity and abundance.
A while ago, I shared how I had been conditioned in a previous work environment to associate working outside normal business hours with stress. Evenings, weekends, and overtime had all become emotionally tied to pressure, obligation, and burnout. So, when I began building my own business, I noticed resistance anytime I tried working outside the traditional workday.
What confused me at first was that I genuinely wanted to build my business. I cared deeply about it. Yet internally, there was still friction. Eventually, I realized the issue was not the work itself, but the meaning I had subconsciously attached to working during those hours. My brain had learned to associate “after-hours” work with stress, regardless of whether the work was meaningful or chosen.
From Obligations to Agency
That realization led me to a perspective shift. Instead of viewing my time through scarcity, as though my evenings and weekends were being taken from me, I began reframing it through abundance. My time was not being stolen. It was mine to choose how to spend. If I decided to spend a Saturday afternoon working on my business, it was no longer an act of obligation. It became an intentional investment into something meaningful. That mindset shift gave me a greater sense of ownership, freedom, and gratitude for the agency I had to choose.
The Case for Scarcity
But my friend Neil challenged me to think beyond that perspective. He agreed with the shift toward abundance, but pointed out that scarcity has value too. At first, that felt contradictory, but the more I reflected on it, the more I realized he was right.
Scarcity often creates awareness of value. We see this economically all the time. When resources become limited, people naturally become more intentional with how they use them. But this principle extends beyond economics. When my brother and his family visited from South Dakota over Christmas, I intentionally set many other things aside to be fully present. The scarcity of time together increased the value of the time itself. I wanted to be present because I knew those moments were limited.
Leadership Through Both Lenses
As I reflected on all of this, I realized how deeply this connects to leadership as well. Many leaders operate from a scarcity mindset without even realizing it … scarcity of time, energy, resources, and recognition. When leaders live in that mindset too long, it often creates environments driven by fear, urgency, exhaustion, and competition. People begin to feel like they constantly have to prove their value or fight for space to breathe.
At the same time, leadership built entirely on abundance without intentionality can also become unhealthy. If everything is always available, always flexible, or always possible, people can lose clarity around priorities and value. Boundaries matter. Presence matters. Intentionality matters.
Healthy leadership requires understanding both perspectives. Abundance allows leaders to create environments of trust, empowerment, and ownership. Scarcity, when understood appropriately, helps leaders recognize what truly deserves attention and reminds us that time, energy, and relationships are finite resources that should be invested carefully. The most human leaders are often the ones who can hold both realities simultaneously; knowing when people need freedom and when they need focus.
Intention Is the Variable
Abundance and scarcity are not opposites in the way I originally thought. Abundance reminds us that we have agency, opportunity, and choice. It cultivates gratitude and frees us from fear-based thinking. Scarcity, when approached in a healthy way, sharpens our awareness of what truly matters and helps us remain present in the moments we are given. What matters most is the intention behind how we are viewing our circumstances. Are we operating from fear, gratitude, obligation, or purpose? Are we choosing our perspective intentionally, or simply reacting automatically?
Relationships That Expand Us
This conversation also reminded me how important thoughtful relationships are. Neil did not dismiss my original conclusions. Instead, he validated them while also inviting me to think deeper and consider another side of the conversation. Those are the kinds of people who help us grow, not by tearing down our ideas, but by expanding them. And that is part of human-centered leadership too, creating relationships where people feel both supported and challenged.
A Challenge to Us All
This week, I leave us with two challenges. First, pay attention to how we are viewing our circumstances. Are we operating from scarcity or abundance, and is that perspective helping us become more intentional?
Second, think about the people in our lives who challenge us thoughtfully. The people who see us clearly, encourage us honestly, and still push us to grow are worth holding onto.
Leading Well
Leading well is an ongoing practice, not a destination. If you’re in a season where you want a thought partner — someone who will both support and challenge you the way Neil did for me in this conversation — I’d be honored to be that person for you. That’s what coaching is at its best.
To schedule a conversation for clarity, you can use my link:
https://calendly.com/allison-mindset/clarity-connection