Written by: Allison Gilmore, MBA, COE, CPC, ELI-MP
A Crime has Occurred
“Salem Police non-emergency, how can I assist you?”
“Hello. My name is Allison, and I believe I may need to report a crime.”
“Ok. Can you explain what has occurred?”
“I work for a local medical practice and witnessed a patient hit another patient’s car before driving away. We recorded the license plate and vehicle details, but the patient whose car was hit doesn’t want to report it. Since the incident happened on our property, we wondered if, as a business, we were obligated to report it.”
“To be clear, the individual who was hit does NOT want to report the incident, correct?”
“Yes.”
“Well, that is his choice not to report it. And, if it is not reported, then there is technically no victim. And if there is no victim, then there is no crime committed.”
“So, that’s it?”
“That’s it.”
A Surprising Lesson from a Simple Conversation
At first, I was a little unsettled by her answer. What did she mean, if there is no victim then there is no crime?
People had witnessed the hit-and-run occur. Someone had done something wrong — surely there should be consequences. Of course there was a crime!
Yet, despite my efforts to encourage the patient to report the accident, his response remained calm. He simply said the truck was old, had been through its fair share of rough encounters, and this was just another part of its unique story.
The Soundtracks We Play
Fast forward a week to another conversation — this time a coaching conversation where we reflected on the soundtracks that many of us have playing quietly in the background of our minds:
“I am not good enough.”
“I am not worthy to be seen.”
“I am an imposter and don’t really know what I am doing.”
“My circumstances control me.”
“I am stuck in a toxic workplace.”
That inner voice whispers messages like, “If I stay small and out of sight, I’ll be safe from judgment, from being overlooked, or from feeling like a failure.”
And then, as if jolted back in time, I remembered the dispatcher’s words:
“If there is no victim, then there is no crime.”
Leadership and the Victim Mindset
What if we, as leaders in our lives and workplaces, sometimes allow ourselves to become victims of our circumstances?
Could it be that we unintentionally turn challenges into “crimes” simply because we see ourselves — or our teams — as the victims?
How often do we rob ourselves of growth, innovation, or connection by believing we have no control. No control over decreases in health insurance reimbursement, rising provider costs, new tax laws, or “fill in the blank“?
How often do I in my own personal life rob myself of joy, relationships, or peace simply because I succumbed to the thoughts that I did not have control over my circumstances, over my autoimmune condition, over my toxic work environment, etc.?
How often do we let our own unhelpful soundtracks hinder us from leading ourselves and others well?
Choosing Our Lens
As leaders, we are constantly given opportunities to choose and be intentional.
We can choose to see setbacks as threats — or as invitations to lead differently, with courage, curiosity, and ownership.
Leadership begins with awareness:
Recognizing when we are playing small, when we are letting fear narrate our story, and when we are allowing ourselves or others to stay in a victim mindset.
And while the word victim can sound harsh or uncomfortable, it is worth asking:
- Have I ever felt apathy creep in when I encountered a situation I didn’t like, but felt powerless to change?
- Have I ever felt lethargic or slow to act in a situation that felt outside my control?
Apathy and lethargy can often be outward signs of a victim mindset — even when we don’t realize it.
Leadership Is an Inside Job
Ultimately, leadership isn’t about managing disappointment or silencing the negative soundtrack that says we’re not enough.
It is about realizing that leadership is an inside job — that the moment we stop identifying and responding as victims, we begin leading with power and purpose.
We can model resilience, emotional intelligence, and self-leadership, showing that freedom begins with mindset.
A Call to Reflect
So, let’s pause and ask ourselves:
- In what ways might we be showing up as victims — to our doubts, our circumstances, or the behaviors of others?
- And in what ways can we shift into leadership — leading ourselves and those around us with clarity, responsibility, and grace?
To recognize that we are not powerless, but empowered … to shift our perspective, to choose our lens, and to lead with intention.
So, my friends, here is our get-out-of-jail-free card … not just as individuals, but as leaders who are ready to take ownership of our stories and change the unhelpful soundtracks we allow to live rent free in our minds.
Writing a New Soundtrack
Are you ready to stop playing the same old soundtrack and start writing a new one?
Coaching gives you the space, structure, and support to rewrite the narratives that hold you back — and create empowering ones that move you forward.
Let’s work together to uncover your limiting beliefs, shift your mindset, and build the confidence to lead with clarity and purpose.
👉 Click the link to begin your coaching journey — and start creating the soundtracks that empower your story. https://calendly.com/allison-mindset/coaching-discovery-call
“Disruption is not a threat, it is an invitation to move into new normals.”
Danielle Strickland